I don't know what hell is like, but I have some theories
- •A "Hellevator"This is an original concept of mine. Essentially, it's that moment where you click the 13th floor and someone's clicked 11 and a third person sees and still clicks 12 (so's 5, 6, 7 etc. )then all the floors are pressed and someone makes that dumb 'guess we're on the local' joke and it's a nightmare. So in my hellevator u never make it to real hot hell even though you're anticipating it. Ur just in this hot elevator that always is stopping on a floor of hell that is not yours (PS u can't sit!)
- •A long PowerPoint presentation with no theme and mostly text, where someone reads directly off the slide
- •All the fire and hot stuff one has come expect
- •Macklemore's downtown on repeat foreverSpecifically the part in the chorus that the mustached man sings where he just keeps repeating downtown very aggressively jfc
- •One long bad kiss
- •You keep having to go on first dates with people you enjoy and at the end of the date you discover they're (racist/sexist/homophobic/fundamentally off kilter/actually boring/a dummy!!)(So. Close!)
- •An uncomfortable formal dinner where you have to make "connections" and you're constantly reassessing your values!
- •A different dinner w an SO's family where you hate all the food there but you have to eat it so you try to be cool but you're almost at the point of barfing.
- •A bbq with the casts of honey boo boo, duck dynasty, and 19 kids and counting. But everyone ate all the meat and you came too late. There's only warm potato salad left.
- •Black empty nothingness
- •The feeling of having to break up with someone very nice and good just because you're in a weird place rn
- •Oatmeal. Just lots and lots of oatmeal
- •A little cherubic demon with plastic horns on his head poking your butt with a pitchfork saying "you've been bad so now I've got to poke your butt!"
- •Any of these could last FOREVER btw
- •Forreal, reread and feel the gravity of these by adding "for eternity" to the end
- •So be nice and be good!!