Today Is a Good and Weird Day

self harm cw!!! mental illness cw!!! eating disorders cw!!! relationships cw!!!
  1. today marks the one year anniversary since the last time I self harmed and also the one year anniversary of my ex and I breaking up
  2. So I'm very bittersweet about things
  3. He broke up with me bc I was vEry mentally and emotionally unstable
  4. And I was so desperate to get him back that I went cold turkey on a lot of unhealthy things in an effort to get him back
    I also did a lot of wild stuff to try to get him back but that's a story for another time
  5. So the day we broke up was the last time I cut and the last time I purged
  6. And it's bizarre because despite any remaining sadness and feelings for him and what we had, that breakup was a catalyst for me to try to get healthy, regardless of the reasoning
  7. And now he has a new girlfriend who he seems to be happy with and I'm still depressed and missing him but with no fresh cuts on my arms and legs
  8. And I say all this to say
  9. Thanks Teddy, for breaking my heart and for making me get my shit together
  10. Also Zayn's new album comes out tomorrow so we poppin big bottles 🍾🍾🍾🍾🍾