LESSONS I LEARNED FROM JURASSIC WORLD

My moral compass has been greatly informed by this billion dollar franchise. Spoiler alert?
  1. Near-death experiences save marriages
    Marital strife? Send your children off to get hunted by a mega-raptor and that shit will clear up.
  2. Join the navy
    You'll eventually purchase a tropical bungalow and settle down off the coast of Costa Rica.
  3. Never trust your Aunt Claire
    Especially dressed in white.
  4. Extinct animals have rights.
    Ignore this eternal mandate and you'll end up as Bantha fodder...
  5. Chris Pratt
    The undying flame of white man justice is burning in his eyes.
  6. Buy organic
    GMO gonna kill you dead