FAVORITE JACK HANDY QUOTES. OPEN LIST.
Deep thoughts from jack handy is probably my favorite bit from SNL. I own 2 books and have spent countless hours reading them on the Internet. These are my personal favorite. Please add any favorites of your own.
- •"If trees could scream would we be so cavalier about chopping them down? Maybe, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason."
- •"Some people are like slinkies. They don't really have a purpose. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs."
- •"Dad always said laughter was the best medicine. Which I guess is why several of us died from tuberculosis."
- •"Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you do criticize them, your a mile away and you have their shoes."
- •"If you're robbing a bank, and your pants fall down, I think it's ok to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny."
- •"If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness."
- •"Whether we find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be considered an enemy planet."
- •"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic."
- •"If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting."
- •"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."
- •I hope if dogs take over the world and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there some Chihuahuas with some good ideas
- •It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that big man.
- •The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
- •I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.