One of the most brilliant television characters of all time.
  1. "Pays five million dollars. Nudity required."
    Michael asks Stanley if he knows of any women who can act in a movie to try and trick him into confessing his affair. Says this so casually and no one acknowledges it.
  2. "She's apparently dating an 81 year old billionaire. He owns a Quizno's on the turnpike."
    While spreading false rumors, he makes up this one about Angela. Of all the ways to make a billion dollars, he thinks owning a Quizno's is one. This is my favorite line of all time.
  3. "In all climates. It's going to be worldwide."
    He tells Andy he is starting his own paper company and Andy says, "Really? In this climate?" I didn't catch Michael's response until I was rewatching the episode one day.
  4. "You are going to be sleeping by yourself for the rest of your life so you should just get used to it."
    Michael needs a hotel room and they're all booked up, so Toby offers his extra twin bed. My favorite mean thing he says to Toby.