Please Catch Me Up on Teen Mom

This is the most honorable request I could ever receive.
  1. Let me break down the timeline:
  2. First MTV aired the series 16 and Pregnant which was WILDLY successful amongst myself and my sisters.
  3. Then MTV took four of the girls from 16 and Pregnant and created Teen Mom, currently known as Teen Mom OG.
    Because the girls stopped doing the show for a few years and then came back with the new name.
  4. They took four more girls and created Teen Mom 2 which is what is airing now.
  5. We've got Kailyn.
    The most drab personality of the four. 1 kid with her ex boyfriend, 1 kid with her husband, wants to be a "host." Has it together which is boring tv.
  6. Chelsea.
    Also has it together. 1 kid with ex boyfriend who she would not leave for a million years until finally coming to her senses. Is now engaged to a very boring, sensible, cute man.
  7. Leah.
    A FUCKING MORON. Twin daughters with the ex husband she cheated on the night before their wedding, one daughter with another ex husband who left her because of her alleged addiction issues. Went to rehab for "emotional distress." Currently cries every episode and slurs all words.
  8. And Jenelle.
    She gave her mother full custody of her son, was in and out of jail, had a string of boyfriends in and out of jail, had another kid with a guy who now has a teeny tiny pony tail, and mentions taking her mom to court to get her son back although never does it and no judge in his gd mind would ever agree to this. Her new boyfriend UncleDave (his ig handle) is my favorite human on earth.
  9. Currently Kailyn is getting divorced, Chelsea is getting married, Leah is too tired to stay awake while driving and rotates the craziest hair extensions you'll ever see, and Jenelle is seeing doctors because she claims she has 6 trillion symptoms of a mysterious disease, including nightmares.
    She is also missing her son's soap box race because she's going on spring break which I guess people still do at 25.
  10. Also all four of them promote flat tummy tea, teeth whitening lamps, coffee skin scrubs, waist training, protein shakes, and gummy hair vitamins on Instagram which besides the show is how they make money.
    They also are published authors 🆒🆒🆒.
  11. THIS SHOW IS A GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS.