THINGS I HAVE LEARNED FROM TLC

Requested by @sally. The Learning Channel is my favorite channel on television. I should not tell people this.
  1. A giant scrotum is simply a reflection of a giant heart.
    But it would be terrible to have. Rest in peace to that dear man who reminded us to be grateful for our normal-sized body parts.
  2. There's fashion, and there's Sondra Celli.
    This bitch can put a rhinestone pineapple on the sleeve of a dress like you've never seen. We witness greatness every time she comes on the air. TLC should give her her own show.
  3. Sometimes, your girlfriends are all you need in life.
    Because there is no way any of the Sister Wives are attracted to their husband. None. They have to be in it for the camaraderie.
  4. There's someone out there for you.
    And they will stick around when your weight spirals out of control and you're on the next episode of My 600 Pound Life. Decent fucking human beings, those partners.
  5. Adult Babies are real. They exist.
    Thanks to My Strange Addiction, I learned what an Adult Baby is. There's a whole gaggle of them out there, meeting on the internet and hosting Adult Baby parties. And I mean, do the damn thing, but how many other lifestyles don't I know about?
  6. You'll always be okay.
    Gypsy Mellie got pregnant, married, divorced, pregnant again by another guy, and then started dating someone else like two months from giving birth. Sometimes she lives in a trailer. AND SHE NAMED HER BABY BRANDY WYNE. Whatever's going on, it will work out.
  7. Anyone can get a show.
    Did you see the cowboy family who drove around in an RV singing terrible songs at churches? And what about the Amish kids who were let loose in New York City? The bar is low. Get out there and produce/write/create some good shit.