THINGS THAT MAKE ME WANT TO GO BURGER KING ON PEOPLE

A woman spring break-ing in my great state of FL went ballistic in a Burger King and threw napkins and ketchup packets everywhere. All public meltdowns are affectionately known as "going Burger King" from now on, thanks to @glossanddirt.
  1. The high school boys who called me "ma'am" in a local smoothie shop and then talked about the Sublime concert.
  2. The couple who slowly scratched each other's backs so loudly in the theater that I could not hear the movie playing.
  3. Anyone who tries to emphasize how little sleep they got by saying things like, "You don't understand, I woke up at 5:17 this morning!!!"
    JUST SAY AROUND 5.
  4. The guys at LA Fitness loudly saying they're going to "fucking get after it at Hogan's Beach."
    The douchiest beach bar in existence.
  5. The guy at LA Fitness working out by himself, wearing headphones, and rapping out loud.
    Respect the public space, sir.
  6. Every person at LA Fitness.
  7. "The struggle is real" quotes.