6 BIBLE VERSES ADDRESSING THIS WHOLE STARBUCKS-HOLIDAY-CUP SITUATION

  1. For God so loved his Starbucks cup, that He gave His only Son. So that whoever believes in him would not perish, but have eternal "Merry Christmas" marked coffee cups.
    John 3:16
  2. Love is Starbucks. Love is Starbucks' themed cups. It does not like change on said cups, it does not recognize other holidays' in regards to said cups, it is not able to back down from petty arguments concerning said cups.
    1 Corinthians 13:4
  3. I can do everything through coffee cups marked with "Merry Christmas" (even though Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet).
    Philippians 4:13
  4. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of exclusively Christian holiday greetings on a mass produced product.
    Hebrews 11:1
  5. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything - wait no. Scratch that. Be anxious about something. One thing in particular - Starbucks. It's going to exist one day and BE READY because it's going to try to DESTROY CHRISTMAS (in like a subtle, nonchalant way, but just trust me on this).
    Philippians 4:6
  6. The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me log onto Facebook, and demand ridiculous things.
    1 Corinthians 13:4