1. "*I've* been nominated to membership in the National Geographic Society"
  2. "Here she is, meet the wife!"
  3. "I'll show you some kissin' that'll put hair back on your head"
  4. "Oh this old thing? I only wear it when I don't care how I look"
  5. "You call this a happy family... why'd we have to have all these kids?"
  6. "We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters hangin' around to give the joint atmosphere"
  7. "Merry Christmas you wonderful old Building and Loan!"
  8. "Isn't it wonderful, I'm going to jail"
  9. "I was saving this money for a divorce if ever I get a husband!"
  10. And of course... "No man is a failure who has friends"