The Unpleasant Things About Being a Woman Who Can't Have Children

In my mid-20s I had pre-cancerous ovarian tumors that were removed along with said ovaries.
  1. When people respond, "Well, did you want children?"
    Common female response. I think hoping I'll say "no" and we can both be all "phew".
  2. When people respond, "Are you married?"
    Common idiotic male response.
  3. Going over medical history with new optometrists, dentists, dermatologists...
    Let's talk in great detail about my most painful thing before you scrape my gums, random groupon dentist.
  4. Pregnant ladies complaining about being pregnant.
    I'm sure being pregnant feels terrible, but please shut the fuck up.
  5. Hearing about how amazing it is to have children.
    I get it, it's the greatest love a love will love love love.
  6. Dating
    I just met you...and this is crazy...oh that scar? Let's have a conversation about tumors and also future children even though it's way too early to be discussing children also I may get emotional so call me maybe?
  7. Facebook.
    Remember that scene in Julie & Julia where Julia Child finds out her sister is pregnant and exclaims, "I'm just so HAPPY for her!" while sadly sobbing? That, for every person you've ever met.
  8. Delivery room scenes
    Not the part with the pushing & screaming and throwing ice chips - that's just reassuring. The aftermath where they're handed the baby and everyone's crying and the dad is all "I can't believe this miracle we created" and the mom is all "finally my purpose is realized!" and love love the greatest love.