Reasons Why I Think My New Chiropractic Office Is The Front For A Money Laundering Scheme

Little moments that made me think.
  1. 1.
    I don't know my chiropractor's name. I'm not sure if he's ever told me.
  2. 2.
    I'm always the only patient in the office. I've gone at multiple different times of day, still only me.
  3. 3.
    The chiropractor suggested I come 3x a week which is way too often.
    But makes sense if I'm the only customer.
  4. 4.
    I have to buzz into the building, making me wonder if the other floors are residential.
  5. 5.
    The physical therapist on-site always says I should "do the stretching" which is how I think someone would say it if they've never heard the term before.
  6. 6.
    I just saw The Accountant and now I'm pretty sure every business I go to is a cover for money laundering.
  7. 7.
    I just go into one room and they cycle through a massage therapist, a physical therapist, and an acupuncture lady.
    What secrets are hiding in the other rooms?
  8. 8.
    In said room, they don't have their own sound system, making this place the only massage I've ever received to a soundtrack of Harry Potter instrumentals segued into Thriller.
  9. 9.
    They don't turn off the lights in the massage room.
  10. 10.
    My massage therapist opened by telling me his height and weight.
  11. 11.
    My massage therapist massaged one of my butt cheeks for like 10 minutes. Then just left the other one for dead.
  12. 12.
    They only charge me $10 for all of these collective services!?!?
    Gotta keep real revenues low to have enough room to slide in the MILLIONS OF DOLLARS THEY'RE PROBABLY MAKING FROM DRUGS AND RACKETEERING.