THE PENDULUM THEORY

  1. This is a theory about love.
  2. The idea for it came from politics.
  3. This is Exhibit A in the case of "Bailey Edgell vs. Romance".
    Exhibit B: I like getting flowers from my best friend way more than from a guy.
  4. In high school, my history teacher made us memorize every president of the 20th century from Theodore Roosevelt to Bill Clinton.
  5. When you look at the political parties of these presidents, you notice a trend:
  6. R-R-D-R-R-R-D-D-R-D-D-R-R-D-R-R-D
  7. When we vote for our next leader, we're often reacting against the last leader we had, hoping for a change.
  8. Over time, it looks like the swing of a pendulum: republican, democrat, republican, democrat.
  9. I've noticed the same trend in myself and in my friends in relationships.
  10. After a breakup, you evaluate what traits in your partner led to the breakup, and you often look for the opposite in your next partner.
    Note: obviously there are two sides to every breakup and typically no one is blameless. However, once you've moved on, you can identify something you want to find differently next time.
  11. As an example, I had a boyfriend who never shared how he felt about me or whether he cared. I constantly had to infer how he felt, which made me feel insecure, and over time, things fall apart.
  12. My next boyfriend was the exact opposite: very in touch with his emotions, constantly reminding me how he felt, etc.
  13. This was a reactionary choice on my part to find a partner who did the things my last boyfriend could not.
  14. My theory is that over time, the swings of our pendulums become smaller and smaller with each relationship as we figure out more and more what we're looking for.
  15. The pendulum comes to a stop when we find the person with the right traits, or maybe when we find the right person and the traits don't matter as much.
  16. Thoughts?