I am not a dentist. I am a dental student, so this list is structured by 4 months of clinical experience.
  1. Go to sleep
    The less talking you do, the faster we work.
  2. Don't say "i hate going to the dentist"
    The only valid reasons to hate us: needles in mouth, permanent numbness, high pitch squeaking handpieces, discomfort, trauma, etc
  3. Breathe through your nose
    Mouth breathers fog my mirror.
  4. Clean your teeth before the appointment.
    I'd rather not know what you ate 30 minutes ago.
  5. Don't floss
    Not flossing leads to interproximal decay which means more opportunities for me.
  6. On that note, don't bring up the "no evidence that flossing is beneficial" study.
    It will most likely end in a rant from your dentist about how he/she studied for 4-6 years and you read an article for 20 seconds. The absence of evidence does not mean there is evidence of absence.
  7. If you are using the word "abscess" in your chief complaint, make sure to spell it right.
    It will save you some prejudice before you're in the chair.