People on the Metro who I don't sit next to

I will stand. I mean it. I. Will. Stand.
  1. The dude working on his spreadsheets.
    It's not that there is anything wrong with him. He just makes me feel a little lazy. And I have enough problems.
  2. The foreign woman talking on her cell phone.
    How can I eavesdrop if I can't even understand you?!
  3. The guy checking out the girl standing up front.
    I don't know. I feel like I just walked into their vibe. I don't want your smarmy vibe all over me.
  4. The old guy with the handlebar mustache making sure we all know he is listening to hip hop.
    It's cool. But I don't want to give you attention for it. I've been here before. If I give you attention, you'll just want more. I don't have that much to give and there is a cute kid peeking over the back of this seat.
  5. The kid peeking over the back of this seat.