A DRUNK STORY

Disclaimer: you might not like reading this. It's about (me + alcohol + man) - sex + friends. Don't read this if it will annoy or disappoint you; I promise you're not missing much! TL;DR: I had a good time and didn't make any horrible decisions.
  1. I've only been drunk once before so sorry, this is a big deal for me.
  2. Apparently ending a 7 year relationship means all your friends want to take you out?
  3. So after having amazing gin cocktails with a new friend, I got home, was just about to get into bed with my cat, a book, and hot chocolate, when another friend told me "fuck it, pack a bag, you're coming out with us."
  4. So I did. I'm not usually impulsive but it seemed like fun. And this is a friend I trust. She's good people.
    She (also a dr) just ended a three year relationship. And she had another friend (a lawyer) over who just got dumped. So we felt mighty fine and independent and all that. 💪🏼
  5. We met up at her place, filled our tummies with food and coffee, and called an uber.
  6. We went to a place called Aces 'n' Spades. Apparently it's usually packed. It wasn't too bad last night - not a good weekend for going out I guess? - which is great cos if it was really bad I would have been overwhelmed.
  7. We had some more gin.
    They kept refilling my empty glass with their not-empty glasses.
  8. I remember everything (yay me) and I could actually dance. That was fun. I'm very self-conscious so it was nice to be a little less-inhibited.
    And the music was so fun! Everything from Cecilia, Rock Around the Clock, to more modern stuff.
  9. And thennnn this guy came up to me. And we danced. And it was fun.
    He's from London. Visiting Cape Town for the weekend. We made out. A lot. It was nice. Things got pretty intense.
  10. He's a great kisser!
    I don't know if this makes sense at all, but even though I really enjoyed kissing him, I wasn't turned on at all?
  11. He tried so hard to get me to sleep with him.
    And I'm really bad at saying no because I've learned to be "polite". 🤦🏼‍♀️
  12. I told him I'm really drunk and shouldn't make decisions this drunk and he said that's fine, he can wait.
    He tried to sober me up with water and peanuts - it didn't work 🤣
  13. He asked me to go to his hotel with him so he could "get his business card".
    So I actually said yes but insisted on waiting for him in the lobby AND ACTUALLY DID.
  14. Also on the way out of the hotel I misjudged the revolving door and totally walked into the glass.
    Told him, "See, I'm embarrassingly drunk, I cannot have sex like this."
  15. Oh also, in case anybody wants to lecture me about safety, I totally took precautions.
    I feel like this is proof I can be fairly responsible right? The streets were busy and I steered clear of any alleys. Also, I told this one teen that was begging for money that if he kept an eye on me from afar (the hotel was 350m away from the club) I would give him cash when I got back safely. So I don't know if he would have helped if I got in trouble but...
  16. Some guy tried to sell us cocaine on the street?!
    What surprises me is that he literally just used hand signals and my addled mind understood. And I said no. Yay me.
  17. So got back to the club. Found my friends. Told them not to let me leave again. Danced and snogged some more.
  18. Told London Guy that I was not sleeping with him, and if he desperately needs to shag someone I would not take offence if he left.
    He said, "I don't wanna shag, Meg; I wanna make love to you." 🙄 does this work?? I told him I just got out of a relationship the same day and he tries to get me with soppy lines???
  19. He's 40 though. Wants a damn wife. He's in real estate. Told me he wants to fly me to London next weekend. I told him I'm working next weekend (I'm not).
    He gave me his business card (oh I said that before right?). He wants to take me out to dinner tonight.
  20. He could be totally legit. But I don't want a relationship!
    He could be a human trafficker. He could have STDs. Or he could be a really great guy.
  21. BUT like I said, not actually sexually attracted to him.
    The girl from last weekend? Amazing chemistry. So it's not just that my libido is broken.
  22. Anyway, eventually the lights went on in the club, he took me to my friends, and we said goodbye.
    I know how INCREDIBLY lucky I am! The lawyer-friend was watching my back all night. I think she maybe had two drinks. We went to the same university, and they always used to advocate the "buddy system" which everyone always jokes about and ignores. But she clearly took it to heart.
  23. Told her I needed to pee, and she took me to the bathroom. I also got rid of some of my stomach contents, which is not something I ever do with food but I think with drink it was a wise choice.
  24. Then we went outside to get an uber BUT OUR OTHER FRIEND WAS MISSING!!!
    We looked for her for like an hour?? But also we knew she didn't have her phone, but did have cash. And apparently this is what she does when they go out, so we eventually decided to go home without her. I was not comfortable with that but new friend said they had clubbed together many times and that this was the way things went down with them. 🤷🏼‍♀️
  25. While waiting for the uber, the bouncers were super sweet. They chased the drug dealers away, and stopped me from tipping this really bad street musician that I just wanted to stop playing.
    They also checked our uber driver for us and even opened the car doors for us.
  26. So we got back to the friend's apartment. Lawyer friend showed me the room and bathroom.
    Guys. I even washed my face and took out my contacts before I fell asleep. And I have hybrid contacts, taking them out is an entire process.
  27. Woke up at 8:30 without any alarm or any noise, on 4 hours sleep.
    I got showered and dressed and pretty looking.
  28. My friends gave me champagne when I came downstairs.
    I know all about eye openers being bad prognosticators 🤓 it was more symbolic than anything else, I had two sips.
  29. Then we went out for breakfast! I had buttermilk flapjacks with creme fraiche, maple syrup (the real kind), and bacon.
    And also a massive coffee and a massive orange juice.
  30. And now I'm chilling at my friend's apartment because my ex is packing his things and I don't want to see him.
  31. Oh by the way, dr friend got home just fine. She actually got here before us but since we had the keys (she has a bad track record of having her handbag stolen) she couldn't get out, so she just got a hotel room for the night 💁🏼
    (Her family is stinking rich. Yeah, I dunno either.)
  32. Lawyer gave me some ibuprofen and lots of water before I fell asleep which I think was a very good idea.
  33. Anyway, I had a good time. Next time I'll drink less and dance more, and probably not hook up with anyone. And maybe it will be my turn to keep someone safe.
    Hooking up with guys is so scary. I felt much safer last weekend with the girl.
  34. I'm happy because I have good friends who kept me safe.
  35. I'm happy because I managed to stick to my rules even though I was inebriated.
  36. So part of me wants to delete this without posting.
  37. But I know I'm not traceable on here. No future employer will be able to find me on list.
    I'm really good at social-media stalking/hunting. I know how to hide myself.
  38. I also know that my li.st friends will be glad to hear I am safe, and will not judge me too harshly.
  39. So that was my night. I think I needed it. I got some perspective. It's not a night I'm going to repeat, but it's also not a night I'm going to regret.
  40. ✌️
  41. Just realised I have some hickeys starting to show 😳 it's winter so I can just wear a scarf yeah?
  42. Just found this really cute pic of us on that night. This was on the first round of drinks when we were all still stable.
    I'm the pasty-pale one on the right.