1. I've been on treatment for major depression for six years but I think I've HAD depression for much longer. Probably childhood.
  2. I self-diagnosed in second year of med school and promptly had a family physician prescribe some SSRIs.
    I mean, all medical students regularly self-diagnose but this diagnosis was correct.
  3. Over the years I've been compliant on therapy and I used to see a psychologist, but I've never been asymptomatic for very long.
  4. When I moved to my current town and started working, I didn't get a new psychologist for various reasons.
  5. And I've always had a family physician write up my meds rather than a psychiatrist because they are qualified to do so, and cheaper, and easier to get an appointment.
  6. My depression has been quite bad these two years, but during and after the pregnancy termination recently it got really bad.
    Not suicidal bad.
  7. I still did not find a therapist because it's just a few months before I leave town. Building a therapeutic relationship takes a toll and then leaving just as you get started... It gets hard.
  8. Also, the rotation I'm on now has me out in the sticks so I can't just "pop out" for an hour if I make an appointment.
  9. But we DO have a psychiatric department here, which I've already rotated through.
  10. One of the super-nice psychiatrists was consulting on a patient in our ward awhile ago and I thought, I could consult her.
  11. I didn't think on it too long because I might've chickened out, so I just awkwardly asked her if I could come see her sometime. And she said yes. And immediately asked if I was in crisis because then she'd see me immediately.
    (I wasn't.)
  12. It took us a few weeks to find a time that worked for us both.
  13. And... It was good.
  14. She's slowly increasing my medication.
  15. And she asked a lot of questions and that helped.
  16. She understands why I can't find a therapist now, but strictly instructed me to find one when I move to Cape Town.
  17. And in a way I think this may become more of a mentoring relationship than a therapeutic one, or maybe a weird hybrid of the two, but I'm just really grateful that she's found time to try to help.
  18. And I'm glad I've found the energy to get help because that's a pretty big step for me too.