THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID TO ME WHEN THEY LEARN I'M FROM SOUTH AFRICA

Grabbing this idea from @Perchlakegirl and @ashlee :) πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦
  1. β€’
    But where are you REALLY from?
    This is the subtler version of, "If you're from Africa, why are you white?" I'm REALLY from South Africa. And my parents and their parents and their parents. And a few more generations.
  2. β€’
    Jambo!
    Uh... Nope. Swahili might be one of the most-spoken languages in Africa, but it's not one of SOUTH Africa's eleven official languages.
  3. β€’
    Are you from Johannesburg?
    Heck no. (We have more than one city, y'know)
  4. β€’
    Gosh, Apartheid was such an atrocity
    I agree! But I don't really see the point in saying this to someone you've LITERALLY just met unless one plans to throw Jim Crow and Ferguson into the discussion as well.
  5. β€’
    So I have this friend in Ghana...
    That's nice. I have this friend in New York City.
  6. β€’
    I want to volunteer in your country
    Do! But please sign up with a recognised institution where you'll do something worthwhile, rather than paying a bunch of money to be made to feel that you're doing something nice. Spending a day at an orphanage and then posting a lot of sad pics of yourself and little black babies on Facebook is not what I'm talking about.
  7. β€’
    So you're Boer
    Unless you're referring to a farmer (the literal translation of Boer), calling any random white South African "boer" is tantamount to an insult.
  8. β€’
    Excuse me? What? Say that again?
    For some reason, people find our accents really hard to understand. As someone who's really good at deciphering accents, this is particularly difficult for me.
  9. β€’
    You're saying that wrong.
    Nope. I'm speaking South African English. It's a dialect recognised by the Oxford Dictionary, so there. (Also, seriously?! What's the deal with people thinking THEIR way of speaking is the only correct way?)
  10. β€’
    Aaaah you guys have so many dangerous snakes! 🐍
    What? Rattlesnake, copper mouth, water moccasin in the States... And then there's Australia which is another can of worms - big ones... But okay I'll concede, black mambas and puffaders and boomslang really are some of my biggest fears.
  11. β€’
    I read this stat that a woman in South Africa is more likely to be raped than to learn to read πŸ““πŸ“š
    Well you're just a ray of sunshine, aren't ya? But in all seriousness, I'm not sure how accurate that stat is BUT I agree that rape is waaaay too prevalent in my country and it is terrifying. If you want to engage me in intelligent conversation on the topic, I will wholeheartedly participate.
  12. β€’
    Have you ever ridden an elephant? 🐘
    Elephants are for appreciating, not for riding. They do me the courtesy of not stepping on my car when I visit the wonderful Addo National Elephant Park, so I do them the courtesy of not treating them like a horse.
  13. β€’
    I have not, however, been asked if lions roam our streets.
    Gold star for you, world. 🌟