THE CRAZIEST THINGS I'VE HEARD FROM CLIENTS LOL

Hello I am L.A based graphic artist. I have free lanced and worked for a few design company's for the last 4 years here is a list of the craziest things I've heard from my past clients...
  1. "Hey i am developing my brand now but I would need you to do a logo, some tee shirts a website and figure out what my brand is" ...Lol
  2. "I like this concept but I want a direction change just in case..can I get it ".... Uh no dude
  3. "We need a full illustrated movie poster in 1 week."...wait what?
  4. "Family discount"
  5. "Can we put this essay in the bottom left corner "
  6. "I was expecting you to do my work for free since it's just art"
  7. If you are a designer that has dealt with clients before you know the struggle if you arnt designers you probably think I'm a pretentious art guy lol