The Kinds of People You Meet at a Marijuana Dispensary

With the legalization of marijuana has come the "green boom", a colloquial term in the legal states that portrays the significant rise in marijuana related jobs and business opportunities. With this rise in popularity, all sorts of people crawl out of the woodwork to cash in. These are some of the people you can expect to see in your local dispo.
  1. 420 Bros
    The lowest of the low in the weed world. These are the guys that come in 15 minutes before you are about to close and ask to look at every single strain you have on your shelf while reinforcing almost every single stereotype from the marijuana community. "Like...dude... 420, am I right or am I right?"
  2. The Nice Old Lady with a Bad Side
    With a personality as warm as your grandmother's and a sugary sweet tone to her voice, there is no one more appreciative of your efforts than the Nice Old Lady. She just likes to get high and she has the best stories about when marijuana was illegal. Just don't get on her bad side. She's been alive for a long time and she isn't going to take your shit.
  3. The "Actually Needs It" Patient
    To all the patients out there who actually use marijuana as medicine: WE LOVE YOU. Keep fighting the good fight and stay medicated.
  4. The Drug Dealer
    We know you don't smoke 12 ounces a day. What you do with it when it leaves the dispo is none of my business but you also aren't fooling any of us.
  5. The Person that is Clearly on Other Drugs
    One of the unfortunate risks of working in a drug market that is relatively unrestricted is that you are next door neighbors with the black market. This means a lot of people on a lot of drugs. It can get scary when a patient is unpredictable.
  6. The Professional Weed Photographer
    "Here's my portfolio of weed photos where I used a number of my personal skills including, but not limited to: poor focus and depth of field that bleeds into the foreground, using colored lighting to make the bud look artificially better, and a shitty watermark for my photography company that only has a Facebook page."
  7. That One Weird Coworker that No One Likes
    A lot of dispos are small places with a very small staff. This means you work with everyone. These people, for better or worse, become your family. You may not like them all, but you are brought together by this one thing. But, in an industry with a quick turnover rate you're bound to get one person that doesn't have any chemistry with the group. They are not fun to work with, no one really talks to them, and they usually end up quitting.
  8. The Guy Who Grew Back in the 70's
    This guy knows everything there ever is to know about marijuana because back in the 70's he grew the most primo shit on his block. Marijuana has come a long way since the 70s. There are now literally thousands of nutrient options that can all affect the most minute elements of a plant. You can't sit here and tell me that a couple of seeds you threw in your back yard looked better than a plant that is scientifically engineered to be bigger and better in every way.