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  1. If he doesn't call or text you back, HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU.
    He might enjoy your hand job just fine, but you...not so much.
  2. Most of the time the "sexy faces" in your selfies make people cringe a little bit.
  3. Learn the friggin rules of the road, and implement them.
    Chapter III, section V: Roundabouts.
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  1. The ol' poop in the bath.
    I guess it just relaxes them a lot?
  2. You'll use your sleeve to wipe your kid's snot.
    Multiple times.
  3. You will actually think to yourself "For the love of God kid! Stop being such an asshole!"
    ..and maybe say it under your breath.
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