Bad Vegan

  1. Fuck frogs.
  2. If there are mushrooms in it, it's ruined.
  3. I know you can have an apple on the side but I still want the chips.
  4. I've never met a green juice I liked.
  5. Say no to GMOs and everything but if you've got Oreos, I'll take two.
  6. I only buy the recycled toilet paper because it's cheaper.
  7. That vegan meme you sent me was moderately funny the first eight times I saw it in my inbox but now I'm judging you for being ignorant and unoriginal.
  8. Please don't ask me questions about my food while I'm eating.
  9. Please don't ask me questions about your food while you're eating.
  10. I refer to myself as a vegetarian if I assume you're one of those people who cannot comprehend what dairy-free means.
  11. I assume you're one of those people who cannot comprehend what dairy-free means.