Unreasonable Things I Would Ask of a Personal Assistant

  1. Update my Snapchat story.
    I envy people who have mastered the art of capturing and curating the perfect moments for their stories. I promise I'm interesting, but I wish I could hire someone to help me prove it.
  2. Send me photos and detailed descriptions of the parking lot/garage/field of every new place I go.
    I don't know why parking situations give me so much anxiety. Hiring this out would save me so much time.
  3. Better yet, just drive me around.
    Let me catch up on sleep, emails, and snack time in the back seat. No talking, please.
  4. Manage my Facebook ad preferences.
    This is so important to me and yet, it's been on my to-do list for weeks.
  5. Take pictures of every item in my closet for the outfit planning app I downloaded a year ago.
    It's a brilliant app and I swear that one day I will use it.
  6. Paint my nails.
    Specifically, the ones on my right hand.
  7. Give me talking points on popular movies and shows that I will never watch.
    This means you, Frozen and How I Met Your Mother.
  8. Clean my phone while I'm in the shower.
    Because it's one of the few things I don't take joy in cleaning but it's one of the dirtiest things I own and because the only time I'm not using it is when I am in the shower.
  9. Keep a notebook filled with every idea that pops into my brain.
    This is so Michael Scott but I would feel like a liar if I left it off this list. I'd like the notebook to be color-coded by topic but we can go over all that during orientation.