STAGES OF THE FLU

  1. sore throat
  2. shivers
  3. aches
  4. confusion
  5. cravings for chicken soup
  6. netflix binge
  7. light sobbing
  8. compulsive showering
  9. halitosis
  10. congestion
  11. worried about developing a "problem" with alka seltzer plus
  12. robotripping
  13. sudden, intense loneliness
  14. tindering
  15. light sobbing
  16. waiting for death's cold embrace
  17. crankiness
  18. "productive" cough