THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN 2015
- •On Labor DayI was arrested for criminal trespassing. I was visiting my good friends' old college. We were drinking and decided it would be fun to climb onto the roof of an academic building. We are all adults with college degrees and yet we thought this would be a good idea? Nope. It was kinda low-key badass getting arrested at the time but then the bill came and along with it, reality.
- •On ThanksgivingI got super drunk at the Turkey Trot and lost my wallet downtown. For about a week and a half I didn't have it. If you've never lost your wallet, don't have that be a thing that happens to you. It's as inconvenient as it sounds. But then a true hero returned it one day and there was much rejoicing.
- •On Christmas eveI got super drunk at the party with my dad's side of the family. My mom makes us go to midnight mass every year. Well this year I had to get up in the middle of it and leave. I literally couldn't handle that part where you like kneel on the pew. Good times.
- •On New Years EveI got super drunk and lost my coat downtown. My car keys were in the pocket. Don't worry, I wasn't driving. Also, my hangover is still present? Lovely.
- •2015 can go ahead and fuck right off.
- •Yo, 2016. What's good?