BAD THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED TO ME AFTER EATING "SPECIAL BROWNIES," IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER

Lol help
  1. 17 years old: bedroom, alone, room is spinning everything is black and white. I fall asleep on the floor, face down ass up, singing some vaguely Christmassy song that I can't remember.
  2. 18 years old: making brownies for me and a friend, eat too much raw batter. I pass out for an entire day and wake up with five firefighters and two cops in my apartment because a transformer blew and the side of the apartment building is on fire. They ask me to move my car. I do, barely.
  3. 22 years old: my bf and I become card carrying medical marijuana members while in Vancouver because it sounds like a fun idea. Neither of us smoke weed ever so we buy a brownie. We go to dinner and spend $250 before walking out to find a cab. We're both shaking and laughing too hard to function. This was actually my 1st good experience lol