BEST RECENT ADVICE I’VE EVER RECEIVED

Because it's the best recent advice I've ever received I dare say it can't conflict with my future opinions on what "best advice" is. Or even what "best" is. And of course what "advice" is.
  1. Get a Diva Cup
    Look that shit up. Inform yourself
  2. Go to an improv show
    Talk about a whole new world and then some
  3. Learn how to pee squatting and be drunk
  4. Learn how to poo squatting and be drunk
  5. Learn how to house squatting
    And be drunk?
  6. Dishwash Diva Cup if dropped in the toilet
    It sanitizes it, I swear by the Internet gurus.
  7. Know how to jump a car
    Boo, automobile! Gimme all your car coins
  8. Know how to jump a rope in case of a scenario where Zayn Malik will only kiss you if you can jump a rope rly rly good
  9. Get 8 hours of sleep
  10. ... If you can, otherwise like 1-2 is ok as long as you sell your soul to the sacred brown bean juice provided by the green mermaid
    I heard that the green mermaid actually gets green highlights though