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Because I said so.
  1. Dill pickle emoji because there aren't enough phallic emojis
  2. Border collie emoji because they're the best breed ever
  3. A black box emoji to store all my anxieties, hopes, and dreams
5 more...
  1. Trader Joes in Palms
  2. Whole Foods in Sherman Oaks
  3. Trader Joes in Sherman Oaks
    This place is actually batshit crazy between 11:30am and 1pm on weekdays
3 more...
  1. You, sporting a beanie
    We're indoors and there is no snow here.
  2. Open-toed shoee
    I didn't authorize you to show me your toes. Hard no.
  3. A lanyard 'round your neck that you got in college to hold your keys
    Throw that beer-soaked thing in the goddamn trash.