Memorable Bad Dates

Some of these are about the same guy (I clearly didn't learn from these bad dates).
  1. First kiss
    I was older than I would like to admit for my (and his) first kiss. He picked the movie --something forgetful and stupid. And missed my lips at first. I got a popcorn-buttery kiss on my eyelid and a kernel shell in my eye. So romantic.
  2. Waffle house
    He invited me to join him for some late night breakfast food. I ordered ONE waffle with water...but he wanted me to pay for our meals (not even going Dutch).
  3. Birthday
    He raved for WEEKS about how amazing his gift to me. On my birthday, he revealed a misshapen heart from driftwood with our initials carved in. It looked like he made it using only his feet.
  4. Shower?
    Went to play Mario kart and watch movies with an admittedly good-looking coworker. After making out some, he tried pressuring me to hooking up with him in the shower... What a skeez
  5. Coming on strong
    He brought me two dozen roses, a mixed CD, and made me a candlelit dinner. Still, he was so stiff. Imagine a cardboard cutout of a guy sitting next to you on a couch.
  6. So hungry
    Went with a group of friends to our favorite Mexican restaurant. He ate a paper napkin on a dare and wanted to high-five me.