RIDICULOUS THINGS I HAVE SAID TO STUDENTS LATELY
Remind me how I still have a job??? I work at a weird (read: awesome) school
- •"I'm really bad at forgiveness"To the whole class
- •"Sometimes I find myself having to prompt myself to ask other people questions like HOW SELF-CENTERED AM I THOUGH??"Again? To the whole class?
- •"Watch out - I puked a lot this weekend and if you annoy me I'm sure I could summon some up to projectile vomit AT YOU"Real. I said it. Disclaimer: I had a stomach bug that kept me home on Monday.
- •"THAT IS SO BALOGNA SANDWICHES"This is my way of saying BS without saying BS
- •At one point today I literally just growled at a class
- •"Did everything come out all right?"My fave question to ask kids when they come back from the bathroom. Because I'm a dad.
- •"A little overly confident?? YOUR HEAD IS SO BIG THAT I FEEL LIKE IT TAKES UP THE WHOLE ROOM. NONE OF THE REST OF US CAN EVEN BREATHE." *makes gasping sound*
- •"Aw poor white boy. Such white boy problems. Sad sad sad."
- •"I love love love you"Thankful that I get to say this to kids - especially since most of them don't hear it too often.
- •"If you compare grades I WILL give you a detention. I am so freakin serious right now."
- •"Teaching you guys is like teaching fifteen separate brick walls and it is terrible."PULLING TEETH I TELL YA
- •"Stop being such little punks I swear"
- •"Don't be a mile wide and an inch deep....Oh yeah, what's the metric equivalent? Ugh I dunno I can't math"Trying to encourage them to commit to a couple things wholeheartedly rather than attempting everything and doing them poorly.
- •"Taking four APs next year is literally the most idiotic idea."