1. "first of all no one cares. at all"
  2. "we all take hard classes stop complaining"
  3. "talk about how drunk u got last weekend one more time. I. dare. you."
  4. "breaking news: no one cares"
  5. "we should calculate the velocity of my fist coming towards your face using an experiment"
  6. "you told that story last week"
  7. "wow you're on the school newspaper? I must've missed that the past three hundred times you've mentioned it"
  8. "why would you wear running sneakers with jeans? doesn't anyone love you enough to tell you that looks gross"
  9. "it's November. it's time to stop wearing tank tops"
  10. "yes continue to put your feet on my chair. that's my favorite thing"
  11. "wwhyyhyhÿY???"
  12. "I hope you fall off that desk you're sitting on"
  13. "update: no one cares...still"