ARTICLES I COULD WRITE FOR BUZZFEED OR WHATEVER

For when I break into the for-profit list-making scene
  1. How to Copy/Paste a YouTube Link in a Text Message While Driving and Other Ways to Endanger Your Life for Marginal Social Benefit
  2. 9 Great Excuses for Tears in a Public Setting 3 of Which are Not "Chopping Onions"
  3. 6 Easy Answers for Why It "Looks Like You're Eating Your Hair"
  4. Which 3 Summer Nail Colors Will You Impulse Buy to Hide from Your Feelings? Take the Quiz!
  5. Schadenfreude; Inspiring True Stories of Peoples Lives Who Are More Of A Bummer Than Yours
  6. The 15 Kids You Should Definitely Not Seat Next to Each Other During 4th Period
  7. 18 Hilarious Stories To Not-Quite-Enchant-But-Probably-Get-A-Few-Giggles-Or-Polite-Smiles-From Any Audience
  8. 43 Signs Your Best Friend Is Actually Just A Character From A TV Show That You Watch A Lot
  9. "Why the Heck Not?!" And Other Reasons to Eat Cookies in Bed
  10. 99 Things I Don't Care About 99 of Which Are National Days When You Post Pictures of Your Dog on Instagram