THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF THAT I TRY TO HATE ABOUT MYSELF

These are the things that I understand I shouldn't love about myself, but I'm sorry—I just do.
  1. The amount I use Amazon prime
    Yes, Amazon prime is everything wrong with America. Yes, delayed gratification is good for the soul. Yes, Wendell Berry and stuff. But I want these exact granola bars and I want them within 48 hours, okay?!
  2. I am usually right
    This is a bad thing I believe about myself, and it would be easier to hate myself for it if it weren't true.
  3. I bite my nails
    This is a horrid habit, but I get a sick pleasure from chewing away at the white ends of my my fingertips, and I don't want to stop ever.
  4. I love trashy TV
    Have fun with your documentaries and critically-acclaimed Netflix crap. I'm rewatching season five of Grey's for the fourth time and I am just as enamored as ever.