THINGS THAT PEOPLE HAVE TRIED TO HAND ME: WORK PLACE EDITION

I work at a children's hospital and my office it very close to the Laboratory so sometimes people try to hand me things.
  1. Cup of urine
    5 times. Still not interested.
  2. Stool Sample
    In a brown paper bag, nope, still don't want it.
  3. Their Second born
    They have to take their older child to an appointment and want me to "watch their baby for a second". Sorry but no.
  4. A diaper
    Used.
  5. An Edible Arrangement
    Ok fine, I'll go share that with the rest of the team.