How Rube Goldberg Tied His Shoes
- •Grab the left lace with your left hand and the right lace with your right hand.
- •Push over the row of dominos directly to your right.
- •The dominos continue upstairs, wrap around your bedroom, and then come back down to your kitchen. They move up to the counter and knock over your wife's glass of water.
- •Your wife, sick of all your freaking Rube Goldberg machines, lights the house on fire.
- •The smoke burns a hole in the ozone layer, increasing the sun's intensity directly over your expertly-placed magnifying glass.
- •The magnifying glass burns a hole through the rope that is holding up the piano, which falls onto a TV remote. This causes a VHS tape of "How to Tie Your Shoes" to play on the nearby TV. You watch this and tie the laces on your shoe.
- •Now for the left foot.