You Know You're Hanging With a Real Friend When...

  1. They know exactly how many times you will sneeze and wait until you finish to say "bless you."
  2. You've lent each other so much money and sweatshirts and blood samples that you don't even keep track anymore.
  3. You have dumb nicknames for each other that you wouldn't trade for the world, e.g. "Big Guy" or "My Real Best Earth Friend Ben."
  4. You know exactly how many times they will vomit after being exposed to the Earth's atmosphere and wait until they finish to ask if they're okay.
  5. They constantly remind you not to look in their basement and assure you that they are the same person you've been friends with for ten years.
  6. You can fart around each other and not bat an eye.
  7. You say he's actually five inches taller than he really is on your report back to the mothership because you know Earthlings are insecure about that stuff.