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A tale of love, lust, and the power of greed.
  1. Pizza rolls used to be so important to me.
  2. I'd buy a package of 75 and was able to down about 60 in one sitting (fuck me).
  3. I went on like this, living as a monster for about 3 years.
9 more...
  1. Say "dude" when speaking to any toddler or small dog.
  2. Scoop chili out of a crockpot while squatting on the garage floor.
  3. Get pissed when Wendy's is out of baked potatoes.
9 more...