TOP UNPLEASANT THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME IN A VERIZON STORE TODAY

Went to upgrade phone
  1. As soon as I walked in, someone to my side abruptly asked for my name.
    I blurted out "Benjamin" which is weird bc I go by Ben and it made the whole thing very formal
  2. All the couches were taken up by old ladies with unkind eyes and large purses
    I sat on the floor in a corner
  3. When they played the first ten seconds of "Dynamite" by Taio Cruz and an employee abruptly changed it to "All For You" by Sister Hazel
    Honestly I'm fine with either song but it was a dramatic shift in moods
  4. Meeting my assigned employee Sam
    "I love your name! It's like Benjamin Button!"
  5. Sam's high-fives
    Frequent and always uncomfortable
  6. All the hidden fees Sam lumped on our deal
    I don't know what plan my dad wanted me to get or how much he was planning on paying but Sam definitely wasn't on the same page. I just kept agreeing with him bc it was so much faster
  7. When Sam made me watch a Star Wars trailer parody on his phone while I waited for him to set up our stuff
    ...
  8. When Sam called his personal cell phone on my new device to check if it worked
    He was very friendly but I wasn't ready to take that step in our budding friendship
  9. When Sugar Ray's "Every Morning" caused Sam to wistfully reflect on his middle school years
    I just want the phone, man