The Dumbest Rejected Triumph Jokes I Still Love

A dog puppet said no but I still like them.
  1. "Did you know most William Shatner sightings are actually just downed weather balloons?"
  2. "The Richter Scale actually measures how many episodes of an Andy Richter show will air before it's cancelled. That's why it doesn't go past 9."
  3. "So much exciting programming on NBC lately! Allison Williams in Peter Pan... Brian Williams in Pinocchio..."
  4. "Billy Zabka, when did you decide to turn away from acting and into Ellen DeGeneres?"
  5. "I'm not going to live in a dog house! Dog houses are for real dogs and drunks who want to pretend to be giants."