1. Take me now, god
  2. We've landed on the moon but can't find a cure for the cold?
  3. My cell phone is amazing
  4. What does the sun feel like?
  5. I would have definitely worked out today if I weren't sick
  6. Just one glass of whiskey...
  7. Netflix kind of sucks
  8. John C. Riley is in like every movie
  9. Why did I move 3,000 miles from my mom?