UNAVOIDABLE CONSEQUENCES OF BEING IN YOUR LATE 20'S

  1. Hangovers can't be avoided
  2. Paying for health insurance sucks
  3. Paying for car insurance sucks
  4. Paying for dental insurance sucks
  5. Deciding what's for dinner is terrifying and the most exciting thing in your life all at once
  6. Paying for renters insurance also sucks
  7. You find yourself saying completely cliche things like "I love getting up early on Saturday and having a full day" or "I just paid my car insurance for the year"
  8. I think all college-aged girls are attracted to me... I know all college-aged girls are attracted to me
  9. I wish I didn't have a useless collection of 300+ DVDs from my teens... Fuck you Netflix
  10. My body hurts. All. The. Time.
  11. Cholesterol; not really sure what it is, but I think it's becoming more important with each chicken wing.
  12. I can't tell if my metabolism is slowing down or if I'm just fat and lazy.
  13. Wait, making a lot of money isn't guaranteed?
  14. I still fantasize about my future career as a famous Hollywood personality that I'll have, like, when I'm older.
  15. I walk by graveyards and think to myself: "see you soon"
  16. Hip replacement surgeries.
  17. Realizing over the course of this list that I'm aging like Robin Williams in JACK