GAY SLURS I'VE BEEN CALLED THAT I THINK ARE JUST SO FUNNY

I grew up gay in Mississippi and was called a lot. These are the most creative.
  1. "Fruitcake"
    All you queens know the struggle of the "fruitcake" label. But like, WHY A FRUITCAKE? It's a Christmas treat for old people and people who can't consciously think for themselves.
  2. "Butt pirate"
    I think this is genius.
  3. "Mary"
    (Or Nancy... Or any generic female name really) Yes, I've been called both a "Mary" and a "Nancy" before even though I'm obviously not a closet case circa the 1960's. I've also been called a "Barbara" before but that felt personal because it's my Grandma's name.
  4. "Pillow biter"
    I think this is funniest mostly because the "straight" boys in grade school seemed to know more about tops and bottoms than the fruitcake.
  5. "Turd burglar"
    Not fair... But fair (in principle).
  6. "Limp wrist"
    OBVIOUSLY. LESS SLUR AND MORE REALITY.
  7. "Booty bandit"
    I think the guy that called me this had a name like Axel or Dale so WHO'S THE REAL WINNER HERE?
  8. "Agfay"
    Remember Pig Latin?
  9. "You've got too much sugar in your tank."
    That sweet, sweet thing called truth. But also, who came up with this one and can he/she get a Pulitzer??
  10. "Tinkerbell"
    Thank you.
  11. "Gaywad"
    Like, a literal wad of condensed gay? Like a big, gay wad of Big League Chew.
  12. "Fairy"
    See: "Tinkerbell"
  13. "Butt muncher"
    Don't knock it till you try it bruh.
  14. "Dutch boy"
    Note: I was called this by a fellow "butt muncher" in reference to me hanging with a bunch of lesbians. So not necessarily a slur but isn't it so funny? Because I totally see like, a rosy-cheeked milk maid type queen when I hear "Dutch boy".
  15. Honorable mention: "Smear the Queer"
    Not a slur but a game WITH a slur. It's unbelievable how often I was smeared. And it generally hurt. But can't you imagine little gay, chunky, preteen me getting chased and tackled by the ever so masc boys of 5th grade??