JOBS THAT I'M GLAD YOUR KID IS GOING TO DO

(So that mine doesn't have to)
  1. Soldier
    I wish there wasn't war. I wish there was no need for a standing army, navy, etc. I vote for the politicians that do their best to keep our fighting men and women from dying but please don't ask any more of me than that.
  2. Police & Fireman
    Not as scary as soldier. I will do my best (which isn't really that much) to argue for stricter gun laws and fire safety codes but in the meantime your kid should definitely look into this line of work
  3. Fisherman
    You've seen the show right? That shit is real. But so is a delicious crab leg. Thank you Alaska for your sons...
  4. Actor
    Dinner Theater, Porn, Broadway, Hollywood Feature Film. Thank you. I am entertained. Your kid is amazing! Here's an award for them.
  5. Miner
    I have no idea what those resources your baby is extracting are but my iPhone continues to work. I understand that's some dangerous and back breaking work. And yes I've heard that the SAT's are rigged and college is expensive. I think this is terrible.
  6. Writer
    Toiling in obscurity on their incisive political blog, dishing out steaming hot takes, pounding out another joke for tonight's monologue. Your kid is doing gods work. Really!
  7. Union Organizer
    Actually kind of hope my kids will do a better job of paying off the sins of their father.