FACTS THAT I THINK ARE TRUE ABOUT KANSAS CITY AND THE ROYALS
- •Andy Kaufman is buried in right field of Kauffman Stadium.
- •If you hit a home run into the waterfalls at the stadium, George Brett has to be your chauffeur for a week.
- •Lorde did not write "Royals" as a tribute to the team. It's actually about Gene Hackman's performance in "The Royal Tenenbaums."
- •The "City" in "Kansas City" is supposed to be pronounced sarcastically.
- •Its cheaper to Uber to Kansas City from the Upper East Side than to actually buy World Series tix at Citi Field.
- •If necessary, Steve Balboni is ready to DH.
- •When you have BBQ on your face, you can wipe it off using the back of anybody's shirt (within city limits).
- •If you stare directly at Johnny Cueto's hair, you turn to stone.
- •Mets win in 5.