FACTS THAT I THINK ARE TRUE ABOUT KANSAS CITY AND THE ROYALS

  1. Andy Kaufman is buried in right field of Kauffman Stadium.
  2. If you hit a home run into the waterfalls at the stadium, George Brett has to be your chauffeur for a week.
  3. Lorde did not write "Royals" as a tribute to the team. It's actually about Gene Hackman's performance in "The Royal Tenenbaums."
  4. The "City" in "Kansas City" is supposed to be pronounced sarcastically.
  5. Its cheaper to Uber to Kansas City from the Upper East Side than to actually buy World Series tix at Citi Field.
  6. If necessary, Steve Balboni is ready to DH.
  7. When you have BBQ on your face, you can wipe it off using the back of anybody's shirt (within city limits).
  8. If you stare directly at Johnny Cueto's hair, you turn to stone.
  9. Mets win in 5.