UBER FOR X

  1. Uber for puppies
  2. Uber for monkeys
  3. Uber for war apes
  4. Uber for flamenco dancers
  5. Uber for being pelted with sausages
  6. Uber for mariachi bands
  7. Uber for Uber for Uber for Uber for Uber for [...]
  8. Uber for tubers
  9. Uber for gentrification
  10. Uber for custard pie drones
  11. Uber for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
  12. Uber for startup pitches
  13. Uber for that one guy who always goes to every conference you go to but never talks to anyone or wears a name badge and maybe he's actually Slenderman or just very shy and oh god am I a terrible person for not going up and talking to him
  14. Uber for bouquets of fragrant white roses
  15. Uber for bees
  16. Uber for procrastination
  17. Uber for under-researched investments
  18. Uber for paper crowns and bath towel robes
  19. Uber for duvets
  20. Uber for so much more coffee than you can handle
  21. Uber for fast-paced technology-fueled infantilization
  22. Uber for people who just draw smart watches on their arms with a Sharpie and pretend
  23. Uber for delighted beluga whales
  24. Uber for acquiescence to a disempowered future
  25. Uber for clowns
  26. Uber for rampant zeppelins
  27. Uber for some dude who will just yell "Jell-O Shots!" and then leave
  28. Uber for a sense of well-being
  29. Uber for helpful birds
  30. Uber for pausing the world