A LIST ABOUT MY COWORKER'S JUICE CLEANSE

Since it's all I fucking hear about all day.
  1. Doing a three day juice cleanse immediately before the company holiday party where you verbally confirm you are going to eat tons of free food and get sloppy drunk is literally terrible in every respect.
  2. Until someone can explain to me what a toxin is and how consuming nothing but liquid fructose for 72 hours rids you of them I will roll and roll and roll my eyes.
  3. "There's 230 calories in this! Where does that come from??"
    "Sugar you idiot."
  4. "I have to pee all the time now!"
    "It's the toxins leaving your body!" - other coworker. No. It isn't. It's the inevitable consequence of an all liquid diet.
  5. Wait you bought these from a special juice cleansing website?
    You know you can get exactly the ingredient list from naked juice and bolthouse farms basically everywhere right?
  6. I would give anything for all my colleagues to stfu about their diets.
    I don't give a shit about your self-denial and ps you never know who might have a history of an eating disorder. So yeah drink your juice and fast for three days but shut UP.