HOW TO STAY TOGETHER- A FIFTEEN YEAR EXPLORATION
We met when we were 19.... Here's what I've learned so far.
- •Respect is EVERYTHING.Contempt is a killer.
- •Do something together that is not eating, sleeping, having sex, raising your children, or watching tv.I'm still working on this one.
- •Make a set of fighting rules.Boxers and wrestlers do it. Set some ground rules. For instance; no name calling, if you want to throw something? Do it at the wall. Time outs are totally cool. If you break rule number one and call me a cunt I get to kick you in the balls. Whatever works for you.
- •Remember you are a TEAM.If you've forgotten this? A quick visit to see your parents will surely remind you.
- •RecommitYou will fall out of love. It could be a day, a week, a month, a year, and it's okay. Falling back in love is as equally beautiful if not more so than the first time.
- •Live in a studio apartment together for a few years.Any other home will then feel like a luxury. Another room will seem like a vacation.
- •The three week rule!DO NOT go more than 3 weeks without seeing each other. This is crucial. After that time your chemical attachment to each other breaks and you're left wondering who they are.
- •Accept that, "This could not work out."It takes the pressure off.
- •ForgivenessGet to know it and mean it. People fuck up. You will fuck up. No one is immune. If you can stop reliving what caused you this pain... amazing things can happen.
- •Have sexThis is another list entirely.
- •CelebrateIt doesn't have to be your anniversary. Self/mutual congratulations can be great fun. Say it and show it.