A FEW FACTS ABOUT ME

  1. I regularly eat food off the floor
    despite the well-documented mouse problem in my apartment
  2. When I was little I used to hold (purely personal) competitions to see how long I could go without peeing and now I have the bladder of a warrior
    Proof that being a giant weirdo has its perks
  3. I am a fat cat enthusiast
  4. If a genie gave me one wish, I would make Jim Halpert a real person
  5. Snacking is my favorite hobby
    Sport actually might be a more accurate term