Allow Me to Listroduce™ Myself

Hi, I'm Beth.
  1. I'm a writer. Sure, 96.7% of humans are writers at this point, but I do get royalty checks. Sometimes they're too small to be seen with the naked eye. But.
  2. Everything I list here will be an attempt at humor. I am battered in sarcasm and dredged in puns. Deep fried, Southern humor.
  3. I have a beloved flock of pet chickens.
  4. They are never, ever battered and deep fried or anything like that.
  5. I bake fancy cakes and cupcakes.
  6. If you're funny, I will love you forever.
  7. I'm here because I'm sick of the fascist 140 character regime.