What I'm Thinking When I'm Getting My Hair Done and You Walk in and Start Talking to My Stylist

  1. Shut UP and go away.
    I am paying for her time, you rude idiot.
  2. I hope all your hair falls out. Like, right now. Then you'll never need that appointment you failed to make and so are standing there like there's no such thing as calling or texting.
  3. She doesn't care about your ex and kid. Neither do I. My stylist and I only care about MY HAIR right now.
  4. Why are you here?
  5. She's MINE, do you hear me? Can you feel my glare ricocheting off the mirror and burning a hole in your forehead?
  6. Why doesn't my stylist make him go away?
    She's too polite. God I love her. But this guy/girl...
  7. MY HAIR TIME IS SACRED. You couldn't be interrupting more if you barged in while I'm meditating and started belting Hamilton songs.
    But that would be preferable.
  8. Stop looking at my hair. My hair is private. So is my face when my hair has color slathered all over it.
  9. Were you raised by wolves? By hairless Chihuahuas?